Twilight, Chapter 1

In which there is rain, and sparkles, and misery. But that's just me….

Oh boy. Why do I do this to myself? Is it genetic? Can I blame my parents? These questions aside, I'd like to welcome everyone to the first of my many, many posts as I read the Twilight novels, chapter by chapter. This will be fun. Before we start in earnest, here's what you should know about me; I'm 25, a dude, have a degree in English literature, and generally dislike romances, rom-coms, supernatural romances, and all their many cousins and bastard children. I have never read Twilight, and my exposure to the franchise thus far has been limited to seeing movie posters, and once listening to a pair of very passionate young ladies talking about Team Jacob while standing in line at an airport. So, yeah. My main approach to this series is that of a literary / cultural critic. I'm interested in stories, zeitgeist, and the rare meetings between those two. Twilight is, indisputably, a gigantic phenomenon, and hopefully I can tease out the why and how from under various layers of shiny vampireness. Let's get started.

So, to my pleasant and considerable surprise, the first chapter (and short prologue), kinda sorta doesn't suck. Nor is it exactly good, either. The prose is atrocious, the characters cliched, and the situations rote. But there are hints of interesting ideas and a lengthy, lived-in mythology to go on. Bella's problems, which are more like minor inconveniences but whatever, are familiar enough to grant easy identification. The clues about the Cullen family keep things feeling at least marginally fresh and different. Meyer has clearly thought about the world she's creating, and the little hits of supernatural make a certain sense. Well yes, vampires would congregate in the most overcast place on Earth. They want to fit in, and so go to highschool, but the differences are apparent enough that there's already a sense of stigmata.

Bella herself has many of the same issues, and anyone who's spent time being stared at in a highschool knows how easy it is to be become separated, to drift. Meyer really can't write, but she understands something of the social currents tugging at her protagonist. The other characters need to be fleshed out posthaste, but Bella is at least a compelling heroine. She's refreshingly pragmatic, whiny, and touchingly aware of teetering on the edge between child and adult. Completely different dynamics with her two parents, being the kid to one and essentially mothering the other. I'm not saying anything is presented with skill, but there's much here for a teenager to identify with. Oh, but about the family….

Charlie is fine. Boring, but he's written with a certain sense of warmth and humanity, and I'm prepared to give benefit of the doubt this early. The mother, though. Woof. The main criticism of this series seems to revolve around it being profoundly misogynistic. Some of the things I noticed in passages with the mother; "Child-like…. Innocent…. At least she has Phil….." etc. So this grown-ass woman is completely dependant on her husband to stay clothed, fed, and otherwise functional in modern society. Um. First off, it just doesn't make character sense. Is this a person who'd flip out and move away from Forks, taking infant daughter with her? And really, Stephanie Meyer, what are you setting up here? Is this the type of relationship that's going to run through the books? Cause if it is, we're gonna have words before this is over.

Annnnnnd that'll do it for the first entry. Come back next week for more, games, and sparkles!

P.S. Yes, I know there was a prologue. It wasn't particularly interesting. Vampires, danger, shitty writing. Ok, time for a mini-rant. We know Bella is the main character of the series. She isn't going to die in the first fucking book. Stop, Stephenie Meyer. Just stop. Blah Blah trying to create tension. Didn't work. Bella is in no danger, none, and she's the only character we've met, so there's no reason to care about anyone else. The prologue is a waste of good ink. Rant over. Talk to y'all soon.