Twilight, Chp 2

In which snow falls from the sky, and all is perfect. Psyc!

Oh. So that's why everyone hates Twilight. Makes sense. I now present a sentence from chapter 2, written as always in the perspective of our fearless (or something) protagonist, Bella Swan, and referring to the object of her confused lust, Edward Cullen; "I couldn't imagine any door that wouldn't be opened by that degree of beauty." First off, it's an atrocious piece of writing. Doubling up on "that," using the conditional; Just a boring, weak, statement that's remarkably representative of the writing I've seen in two chapters of this book. But whatever. No, the real issue here is in content, not execution.

We all know that the primary consumers of this book and its sequels are teenage girls. I'm not trying to stereotype, and I certainly have no issue with literature targeted at that audience, but come on. Young women are the driven, passionate fans, and everything about the book is designed to appeal to them. So I'll ask; What kind of message do we want to send girls about oh, I don't know, body image, self-worth, shallowness, perception-v-reality, the steaming pile of shit that is our whole sex-sells advertising industry? Anyone? Should we, perhaps, try to move the conversation in a way that doesn't tie physical perfection and societal value? And, more importantly; What the fuck, Stephanie Meyer?

Wikipedia informs me that Mrs. Meyer is married, and the mother of three sons. I do not have children, but if I did, I'd raise my sons to respect women and themselves, and to understand that doors are opened through a combination of hard work and treating people the right way. Physical beauty is well and good if you have it, but it doesn't convey any kind of exceptionalism. Now, some of you probably think I'm harping here, and generally being too hard on a book meant for teens. I'm definitely harping, but is it such a stretch to think that a book can change someone's life? The way people talk about Twilight is much deeper than a mere piece of entertainment. It's held up as profound, wise about relationships, men and women and love. It occurs to me that love and lust are entirely different. They can coincide, sure, but pretending they're interchangeable…. hoo boy.

Also pissing me off is the insinuation that the Cullens are awesome because they have money, wear nice clothes, drive a fancy car etc. Having a lot of stuff and razored cheekbones doesn't make them good people. We have this weird idea that posession of fundamentally shallow qualities makes someone worthy of worship. See, for example, the entire industry devoted to holding up athletes as role models. Barry Bonds was remarkably gifted at hitting baseballs over walls (even before the roids), and also a raging asshole. The Cullens are pretty, but I'm deeply concerned that the book wants us to think that's all we could ever need to know about them.

The chapter also features something I'll charitably call plot advancement. Related note; Edward is kind of a self-centered jackass. Meyer is setting him up to be a charismatic, mysterious, brooding James Dean type. One problem; She has the perspectives mixed. We're experiencing these interactions from inside the head of an emotionally screwed-up teenage girl, who's further confused by the fact that she already wants to bang Edward's brains out (not that there's anything wrong with that). If Edward is going to be appealing, we need more clarity as to his motivations. Speaking in ellipses is all well and good if you're Yoda, and pre-established as wise and powerful. Whatever's going on here is torturous, not tortured. Edward isn't a character, he's just a OneD song on repeat.

Be warned, people. I'm gonna be swearing a lot more before this project finishes. See you next week for Lost!